Awakening
by nublados
Summary: It is when things are stripped away that our true self is discovered.
1. Prologue

_- Prologue -_

"Can you—?" Karin stopped, unable to finish.

Wearily, Orihime stood from her place and allowed the shinigami to fit into her previous position. Green spiritual energy permeated the darkness of the room.

Minutes passed and the company assembled in the Kurosaki's house grew more subdued. Eventually, the shinigami sat back on his heels, head down.

"I can't do anything for her. I'm sorry."

Karin was stunned. These were the death gods, the fighters, the balancers of souls—they were supposed to be able to fix everything.

But they cannot fix Kurosaki Yuzu.

Karin moved to be beside her twin, wishing they were alone, wishing that Ichigo was there.

Karin looked up to meet the eyes of her father. He was already crying silently. Karin silently touched the chain that had appeared on her sister's chest.

And all of a sudden, everything is too real and too painful and too _big_ for her to fathom. And Karin cannot bear it.

She stood and retreated from her house. She walked and walked until she started running, and then she's running and not looking back. She permitted herself to break her promise and let the tears fall.

* * *

"You should perform Konso."

Isshin nodded, but he doesn't move.

"If you want, I can do it," Urahara offered.

"No," Isshin said. "She's my daughter."

Slowly, Isshin moved to unsheathe his sword. The sword handle hovered over Yuzu's pale forehead.

Isshin attempted a smile and squeezed his daughter's small hand.

"We love you, Yuzu."

Her spirit was engulfed in light and then the only remains were Yuzu's body and a hell butterfly.

* * *

It took some time for Karin to work herself back into a state of composure, but she did. Yes, her world had fallen apart, but she didn't have to look like it.

Ichigo was finally contacted and corralled back to the Human World. They had a funeral. People came, several of them being from the Soul Society.

Karin ignored them all. She was in mourning.

They were burying Yuzu next to Masaki. Pink roses adorned her casket.

Karin kept her eyes downcast as the rites were said and the memories recounted. Ichigo broke down during his speech. Karin felt the knife that had entered between her ribs dig a little deeper.

Isshin held her hand throughout the entire service. Karin did not know if he was doing it for her benefit, or for his.

The funeral ended and faces peered in at her, squeezing her shoulder and pulling her in for hugs that Karin did not desire.

She turned away from them and started walking home. She heard Isshin say, "Karin just needs a little time."

_What I need_, Karin silently corrected, _is Yuzu._

As Karin left the cemetery, a flash of white caught her attention. Karin turned and looked him square in the eyes. She flinched a little. That shade of blue-green had always unnerved her.

It was evident that he was sad. His expression did not hold its usual pride or dignity. His lips pursed in unhappiness as their gaze held.

He took a slow, measured step towards her, but Karin shook her head. She could not deal with this today, and she would not.

She blinked and resumed her journey, ignoring Hitsugaya Toshiro as if he hadn't been there at all.

* * *

_More to come. Perhaps._


	2. Installment 1

- Installment 1 -

Summer in the Soul Society was warm enough to cause its occupants to seek relief where they could find it. Namely, indoors where it was cool.

However, one shinigami had chosen to venture into the heat to attain what he considered the best thing to cure heat exhaustion.

Watermelon.

Toshiro was practically drooling by the time he arrived in the Rukongai.

His grandmother had successfully drawn him out of his office—a feat not most were able to accomplish. Matsumoto had practically pushed him out of the Tenth Division.

Toshiro's mouth hardened into a thin line.

Things had not been easy recently. They had still not found Kurosaki Yuzu.

Immediately, Toshiro was reminded of the last time he saw the dead human's raven haired sister. She had been leaving the funeral. She had looked at him, and Toshiro hadn't even been able to grasp the extent of damage within her eyes; it had overwhelmed him, in just one glance.

He had not seen her since that day. He had not been given leave to go to the Human World, nor had he asked for it.

Toshiro pushed back the guilt that threatened to overtake him. Guilt liked to catch him off guard. It would sneak in around his heart and mind when he was least expecting it, seeking to undo him. But Toshiro couldn't allow it. Not yet, and not without a fight, because Toshiro knew the moment he gave in, he would lose his composure altogether. He could not allow that.

As he neared his childhood home, Toshiro forced the unwelcome thoughts to the back of his mind. It would not do to ruin his visit with his grandmother because he had a depressive attitude.

He came into view of the small house he had lived in such a long time ago with Granny and Momo.

His grandmother was waiting for him in the doorway, smiling. Her cheeks were full. Toshiro's heart lightened a little.

"Shiro!" said the old woman, embracing the captain once he got close enough. She pinched his cheek doubtfully. "I hope they're feeding you in the Seireitei. . ."

Toshiro sighed impatiently and shook off her careworn hands, even though he didn't really mind her doting.

"It's fine, _obaa-san_," Toshiro responded, allowing his grandmother to lead him into the house.

Nothing had changed inside the walls of the house that held so many memories for him. But then again, Toshiro hadn't expected it to. Time had a funny way of stopping in the Soul Society, especially in the Rukongai.

Granny bustled around in the kitchen for a few minutes before she brought out the watermelon. She chattered as Toshiro dissected a piece and took a bite of the fruit.

It came back in a rush, as it always did when Toshiro was in the Rukongai—the simplicity of the life he had once lived. A life that he sometimes wished he could return to.

Granny questioned him about his life in the Seireitei, his division, Matsumoto, Momo. As their conversation drew to a close, his grandmother fixed him with a somber stare, an uncommon expression in her wizened face.

Instinctually, Toshiro knew what she was going to say.

"We haven't found her yet, Shiro. I'm sorry."

Toshiro shook his head; he hadn't expected any results, not really.

Granny studied him, frowning sadly.

"Have you been to see her sister recently?"

A small shard scraped against his ribs, brushing the lining of his heart.

Toshiro shook his head.

"I haven't been given leave in the Human World."

Granny considered this for a moment, then asked, "Can you request permission?"

Toshiro knew he could, whether he had a good reason or not. It would even be unlikely for Captain-Commander Kyoraku to deny his request. But . . . what could Toshiro do? He hadn't found her sister. He had no news, no encouragement, no comfort to offer her.

And the way she had looked at him at the funeral. . . Well, it was probably for the best that he stay in Soul Society for the time being.

Toshiro bid goodbye to his grandmother, pleased when she placed a small bag of _amanatto_ in his hands.

"Be good, Toshiro," his grandmother bid, smiling.

Toshiro smiled back and squeezed her hand before walking back into the heat.

* * *

"Captain!"

Toshiro sighed. Matsumoto was wearing that tone—the one that meant something had happened while he'd been gone. He just hoped that she hadn't spilled all of her alcohol in his office again.

"What is it, Matsumoto?" Toshiro inquired tiredly, pushing past her.

Matsumoto punched the air, as if in victory. Yes, definitely drunk.

"Matsumoto, if you spilled alcohol in my office again—!" Toshiro began, turning on his lieutenant.

Matsumoto waved her captain's concern aside with a flapping hand.

"Oh, Captain, don't worry about that. What's most important is that the Captain-Commander sent a hell butterfly for you."

Toshiro raised his eyebrows.

"What for?"

Matsumoto shrugged, her eyes glazing over slightly.

"I don't know! But you and the other captains have been summoned to assemble!"

"Did he say what for?"

Matsumoto shook her head dazedly and then bustled away from the captain, purportedly to search for more booze.

"Ridiculous," Toshiro commented before using shunpo to get to the assembly hall.

* * *

As the Captain-Commander, Kyoraku Shunsui was entirely different from his predecessor. Where Yamamoto was harsh and unbending, Kyoraku was gentle and relaxed.

He was actually late for his own meeting.

The twelve captains milled around the assembly hall, talking about what Kyoraku could possibly want and subsequently grumbling about his tardiness.

He kept them waiting around fifteen minutes before he appeared, smiling genially.

"Sorry," he said cheerily upon his arrival, "I guess I overslept a little."

Captains shrugged and lined up to be addressed. Kyoraku made his way to the front of the room.

"I called you all here because there's been frequent disturbances in the Human World. Karakura Town in particular." The Captain-Commander raised his eyebrows. "Hundreds of Menos within the past two weeks."

Some of the captains stirred from the numbers, surprised.  
"As you can all probably guess, these Menos are being called forth from an abundance of spiritual energy. The source is coming from a human girl."

"One human?" inquired Ukitake, seemingly deep in thought.

Kyoraku nodded.

"One Kurosaki Karin."

Toshiro started, his eyes snapping to look at the Captain-Commander.

There were murmurs among the captains. Another gifted Kurosaki? The dead human's sister? Where was Ichigo—shouldn't he take care of this?

"Naturally, something must be done. If we allow the girl to continue to leak spiritual energy, she's bound to die, and cause a great many other deaths as well."

"Send her to Urahara. He can seal her," Soifon suggested firmly.

Kyoraku shrugged.

"We don't want to completely discourage her," Hirako interrupted. "She's a Kurosaki. They have a promising history within the professions of soul reapers."

"What then?" Soifon retorted, crossing her arms.

"I will go."

The assembled body of captains turned to their youngest colleague. His eyes were fierce.

"I will go and teach Kurosaki to control her spiritual energy. It's something I'm well acquainted with doing."

The other captains were well aware of this fact. It had been one of the first things the young captain had had to learn upon his admittance into the Academy.

Kyoraku mulled it over.

"Seems like a good idea to me," he decided with a shrug. "Permission granted, Toshiro-kun."

Toshiro winced at the familiar usage, but bowed his head in respect.  
"Thank you."

"Until then, everyone continue their searches for Kurosaki Yuzu. . . It is the least we can do for them."

The captains nodded and departed.

* * *

_More soon._


	3. Installment 2

_Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. They are appreciated._

* * *

- Installment 2 –

Karin was dreaming about Grand Fisher.

He loomed in front of her, big and menacing. His white mask grinned at her as he advanced.

"Stay back!" she commanded, attempting to push Yuzu farther behind her.

Grand Fisher chuckled, amused, and then flashed behind her.

Yuzu was on the ground before Karin had a chance to turn around. The hollow picked her up and held her, waiting for Karin to make a move.

But Karin was frozen. She wanted to scream or cry or give up. But she couldn't do anything. She just watched.

Grand Fisher seemed to shrug his massive body before swallowing Yuzu whole, laughing cruelly.

Karin sank to her knees, her head meeting the wet ground in defeat.

She felt Grand Fisher come towards her, and then, in an instant, she was eaten as well.

* * *

Karin woke up gasping, clutching at her chest. She looked down and checked herself—no blood, no hole. Safe.

She sighed heavily and laid back down on Yuzu's bed. The sheets were tangled all around her, a sure sign of her dreamland struggle.

Karin's eyes flicked to the bedside clock. School in an hour.

Grudgingly, she rose and began to get ready. But it was pointless, going to school. Karin didn't care. There was nothing to care about anymore. Ichigo was gone all the time, gallivanting across worlds, and her father . . . was still trying to bounce back.

He tried to lie of course, but he was unsuccessful in convincing his remaining daughter. It was in the way he held himself now, how his shoulders slumped forward slightly and his smiles seemed permanently strained.

Karin guessed that her father thought the same of her.

Downstairs, Isshin was eating a slow breakfast of burned toast. Karin was instantly reminded of Yuzu and her cooking and her housekeeping and oh, God, why was she not here?

Karin briefly closed her eyes and pushed the thoughts aside. If Dad saw her cry, there was no telling what would happen.

"Good morning, Karin-chan," Isshin greeted, the fake smile in place.

Karin attempted to match it, but was consciously aware that she failed.

"Morning," she answered, quickly filling a bowl with cereal and milk.

She sat across from him at the table. Isshin shifted back to his burned toast, and they ate in silence. So it was now: silent.

Silent lives, silent home. It was a cycle Karin and Isshin had become well-versed in. Wake up, pretend at work/school/home, sleep. Simple and easy. As easy as depression is, at least.

Karin finished her breakfast and stood, her schoolbag slung over one shoulder.

"Bye, Dad."

"Have a good day, Karin."

Karin nodded curtly and exited her house, frowning.

Kurosaki Karin. Sixteen years old. Sister-less. That was who she was now.

* * *

"Oi, Kurosaki-san! Soccer today?!"

Karin glanced over at Heita, who was standing in a group with her other childhood soccer buddies. It was off-season, so all of their afternoons were free. Of course they would ask for a pick-up game. But Karin's interests had changed somewhat.

"No, thanks. I'm busy," she said, using her favorite, non-descript reply.

"Helping in the clinic again?" Heita pressed on.

Karin nodded and pushed further down the hallway, putting greater distance between she and her former friends.

The afternoon crowd was full to the brim with relief and happiness that classes were over. Students milled around in the front yard of the high school, smiling up at the blue sky and talking amongst themselves.

Karin sighed and began to walk home, feeling more burdened than relieved. School was just a reminder that her twin would never get to walk those halls alongside her.

A light summer breeze blew across her face, and Karin stopped in her tracks, a sudden feeling of dread taking over.

A Hollow, maybe a couple of blocks east from where she stood.

Karin debated within herself, absently feeling for Yuzu's strawberry hairclip in her pocket. What would Yuzu have done?

Karin snorted. Yuzu would tell her not to do something to get herself hurt, and let Ichigo or some other soul reaper handle it.

But that wasn't an option at the moment. Karin was nearest, even though she was unprepared for the threat.

Frustrated, Karin sighed and began running towards the dark spiritual presence.

* * *

"Crap."

The sight before her was definitely unexpected as Karin felt a prick of fear start at her neck and race down her spine.

A figure she had never seen before, a skyscraper of a form, clothed head-to-toe in black. The abnormally tall Hollow was eating another Hollow, snapping the white mask of the smaller being easily.

Karin knew instinctively she was out of her league. Every cell in her body was screaming at her to run, but Karin remained out of stubbornness. She would not run away just because she was weak and small.

She bit her lip as the big Hollow finished his meal and took notice of her, its clothed head shifting to the side as if in bemusement.

Karin quickly surveyed her surroundings, looking for anything she might could use for a weapon. A sawed-off pipe lying on a sidewalk seemed her best option.

Karin raced to the pipe and snatched it up. She moved forward towards the Hollow without a second thought, her adrenaline pumping and her spiritual pressure exuding out of her. She drove the pipe down into the Hollow's foot with force, successfully nailing it to the street.

The Hollow stiffened, but seemed unfazed by the fact Karin had just impaled it. It stooped to consider her closer, and Karin realized she'd need to take more drastic measures if she was going to do some real damage.

She rushed to seize hold of the pipe, and with some struggle, managed it out of the Hollow's foot.

The Hollow reached out its huge hand to take hold of her, and with the force of her swing, Karin batted its hand away. But this only seemed to frustrate the Hollow. It raised itself up and opened its mouth, where a brightly glowing red light began to evolve.

Karin ran, abandoning her stubbornness and cursing herself for not leaving sooner.

The light got brighter, and Karin ran faster, fear freezing her insides.

Before Karin blacked out, a great red light surrounded her and she felt the sting of an injury. She fell with Yuzu's name on her lips.

* * *

As the smoke cleared around the scene, Urahara Kisuke smiled grimly.

"What was that?" asked a befuddled Shihoin Yoruichi.

"She blocked the majority of the attack by manifesting her reiatsu into a shield," Urahara answered, eyebrows raised in approval. "Interesting."

Yoruichi crossed to the unconscious girl, looking her over.

"She's injured. The shield wasn't complete."

"Well, it was manifested in duress. Still. . . Very promising."

Yoruichi picked up Karin and flash-stepped out of sight.

Urahara remained, trusting his counterpart to deposit the young Kurosaki back at her home, safe and bandaged.

He considered the Gillian and strolled over to the body. With his umbrella, Urahara cast off the covered Gillian's face.

What was revealed caused Urahara to lose his smile. Its mask had begun to evolve.

* * *

_More soon._


	4. Installment 3

_I finished this earlier than I expected. Think of this as a wish for your good weekend. Thanks always for the reviews and the reads._

* * *

- Installment 3 -

"Taicho, are you sure you don't want me to come? I could help—!"

"No, Matsumoto," Toshiro answered for the fifth time that morning.

"But taicho. . ."

"I don't know how long this will take. You're the fukutaicho. That means you're in charge."

The buxom blonde pouted.

"But taicho, it's been ages since I've been to the Human World. . ."

The vein in Toshiro's forehead pulsed.

"This isn't a shopping trip, Matsumoto!" Toshiro snapped.

Matsumoto's face sobered a little when she saw the expression in the young captain's eyes. She frowned slightly, watching as Toshiro finished sifting through his desk.

"What do you think Karin-chan will say?" Matsumoto inquired, her playful tone forgotten.

Toshiro made himself appear preoccupied, glancing over a couple of papers.

"I don't know," he muttered.

Matsumoto decided to drop the subject, watching her captain with attentive eyes. Not many could read Captain Hitsugaya's expressions, but after decades of serving alongside him, Matsumoto could say that she was one of few. And though visibly he was expressionless, the lieutenant could tell that the white-haired captain was apprehensive.

Without looking at her, Toshiro rattled off the various things Matsumoto was responsible for in his absence, stressing the importance of the pile of paperwork on his desk.

Matsumoto and Toshiro walked to the entrance of the 10th.

"Say hello to Karin-chan and Isshin-sama for me, taicho," Matsumoto said lightly.

Toshiro nodded, fixing his eyes on his comrade.

"Keep looking for Yuzu. Let me know immediately if there is any change."

Matsumoto nodded and patted his head affectionately. Annoyed, Toshiro turned away.

"Be safe, taicho! Call if you need me!"

Toshiro rolled his eyes as he walked away, but a small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.

* * *

It was night when he stepped through the gate.

Toshiro alighted on a telephone pole, surveying a sleeping Karakura Town before him. Karin was down there, somewhere.

But Toshiro had to wait to attend to her—interrogating Urahara would have to come first.

Toshiro leaped into the sky and flash-stepped to Urahara's shop, determined. It was extremely likely that the man knew about the recent disturbances, and if so, his information would be necessary to attain.

Luckily for the young captain, a light was on in the back of the shop.

Quietly, Toshiro approached and entered, sliding his shoes off politely at the door.

In the back, at a low table, Urahara sat by himself, drinking tea.

Upon seeing Toshiro's arrival, Urahara smiled and spread his arms wide welcomingly.

"Hitsugaya-taicho! What a lovely surprise!"

Toshiro had the mind to roll his eyes. Urahara was never as stupid as he acted.

"Like you weren't aware that Soul Society was sending someone," Toshiro replied flatly.

Urahara ignored him as he prepared a second cup of tea, gesturing for the captain to sit.

"I don't know what you're referring to," Urahara finally responded, placing the cup in front of Toshiro. "I'm just a humble store owner trying to make his way in the world."

_Nonsense_, thought Toshiro. He obligingly took a sip of tea.

"What is the nature of the threat?"

Urahara raised his eyebrows.

"Business? So soon? But Hitsugaya-taicho, I still don't know what you're talking about!"

The vein in Toshiro's forehead throbbed.

"I'm referring to the increased appearances of Hollows and Menos in Karakura within a few weeks' time."

Urahara's expression sobered a little, but he took his time answering, drinking more of his tea.

"Gillians," Urahara informed, with one raised eyebrow.

"Have they been originating in groups?"

Urahara frowned.

"Normally, yes. The substitute here has been doing alright dispelling them, with some of my help, but they keep arriving. But I suspect you know the cause, otherwise a different shinigami would be here."

Toshiro glared harshly at the older man for the insinuation, but let it go.

"Has Kurosaki Karin been directly involved with any Gillians?"

Urahara was quiet for a moment, considering the captain with shadowy grey eyes.

"Yesterday, there was a lone Gillian feeding on a low-level Hollow. Karin-chan showed up to take care of the threat, but I don't think she realized the danger. The Gillian used Cero on her, but she used her reiatsu to shield herself. It wasn't a complete shield, so she was slightly injured, but she's fine otherwise. Yoruichi returned her to her home after bandaging her."

Toshiro's mouth tightened, his hands gripping his knees.

"A lone Gillian?"

Urahara nodded solemnly.

"Hitsugaya-taicho, this Gillian was in the process of transforming into an Adjuchas."

"It was eliminated, correct?" Toshiro inquired tensely.

"Yes."

Toshiro sighed. The situation was looking a lot more serious than the soutaicho had let on, which was worrisome. Additionally, the fact that Karin had gone up against a Gillian and manifested her reiatsu into some form—well, it was all fairly alarming.

"Has Kurosaki Karin been regularly confronting Hollows these past few weeks?"

"No. I haven't seen her since her sister's funeral. The Kurosakis have been keeping to themselves."

There was a finality to Urahara's statement that made Toshiro anxious. He stood, unable to put off his itch to see her any longer.

"Thank you for your assistance," Toshiro said, making his way for the door.

"Anytime, Hitsugaya-taicho!" Urahara called back warmly. "And, if you need a place to stay during your time here in Karakura, feel free to board here!"

Toshiro slid the door to the shop shut. He would be doing no such thing.

* * *

She sensed him as soon as his foot alighted on the windowsill.

Karin shifted and opened her eyes lazily, still half in Sleep's jealous clutches.

The image of Toshiro swam before her, his white hair standing out almost blue in the moonlight that trickled in from the window.

And then she remembered. Karin bolted upright, immediately awake. She scrambled from Yuzu's bed, anxious.

There was only one reason he could be here.

"Did you find her?" she demanded.

Toshiro stared at her. She was thinner; her cheeks looked more hollow than they had a few months ago. Dark circles under-lit already dark eyes.

The familiar shard scraped by his heart again.

"Did you find her?" Karin repeated, more desperate than before.

Toshiro shook his head slowly, trying to figure out how to be gentle. He had never had to be gentle with Karin before.

Karin stared at him, blank.

Then she turned her back to him and got back in bed, facing away from him.

"Karin," Toshiro began.

"Go."

Toshiro blinked, unsure of what to do.

"You've been leaking spiritual energy. I've been sent here to teach you to control it."

Karin mulled over this news in silence.

After a moment's silent consideration, he said softly, "I'm sorry, Karin."

"_Go_," Karin repeated, anger in her voice.

When she looked over her shoulder, he was gone. Within the next few moments, Karin fell back asleep, passing the encounter off as a dream.

* * *

_Well, that went well._

Toshiro ran a hand through his hair as he settled on the roof of a house facing the clinic. This night would be spent monitoring Karin's spiritual energy.

Toshiro's thoughts returned to the visual of seeing Karin again. He could not confidently say that three months passing had been good to her.

Her thinness worried him. Karin had always been healthy, lean and athletic. But the months of inactivity (and he suspected, an irregular eating schedule) had shrunk her muscles to make her look frail and diminished. And her eyes. . . They were completely unnerving.

Toshiro's mouth puckered into a frown, disturbed.

Never before had he seen or heard such desperation, such bitterness and hurt in one expression, in one spoken sentence.

Toshiro sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

Karin was completely and utterly disconsolate, and instinctively, Toshiro knew there would be no thorough fix. Perhaps he had known it all along.

* * *

When Karin awoke in the morning, she was instantly aware the moment her eyes slipped open. The memories came flashing back in a matter of seconds, as they always did, and Karin sifted through them, making sure they were all accounted for.

_Yuzu is dead._ Check. _She has been dead for months now._ Check. _She is somewhere in Soul Society, alone._ Check.

Karin's eyes widened as information from only a handful of hours ago filtered through her brain.

_There was a Hollow, a big Hollow. I fought it and . . . passed out?_ Karin looked at her arm, noting her cleanly bandaged arm. She was at a loss to explain that. And then. . .

_Toshiro is here?!_ Check.

Karin sat bolt upright in bed, her adrenaline spiking from stress and anxiety. She slowed her racing thoughts and calmed herself to attempt to locate his spiritual energy. After a moment she gave up; he was out of her range.

Karin slid her feet to the floor, setting her elbows on her knees as she cradled her head.

Hadn't they had a conversation? Hadn't he explained himself and why he was in the Human World?

Karin thought, trying to remember the chain of events.

It all came back in a rush, as most of her memories did these days. He had not come to announce they had found Yuzu, meaning she was still lost in Soul Society somewhere. But he had come to say that she would be undergoing training beneath his tutelage.

Karin swallowed past the bitter taste in her mouth. She would not be cooperating. She would not become one of the Soul Society's pets like her brother while she was alive.

Not after Yuzu.

* * *

_Thanks for reading._


End file.
